Saturday, September 22, 2012

Yellow Butterfly

A yellow butterfly symbolizes hope and peace, as if to say "Don't worry, it's all going to be okay." as it flies by. I have been struggling lately and at some times feeling hopeless. I know God has a plan for me, and a great one at that, but it's easy to lose focus when you're going through a tough time. I have been so sick for the past two months as my body works on making a precious little life. I never doubt for a second that it is worth it and I would never take it back if I had the chance, but to be honest that doesn't make the hard times any easier. I am so tired of throwing up and the nausea. I'm tired of being tired, but I have to remember that it will all be over soon. Some day be a distant memory. I will be outside with a 5 year old and 2 year old one day with tears of joy in my eyes and thinking how incredibly blessed I am. How that cross that I was chosen to bear would bring such immense joy into my life. We all have crosses to bear, but what makes the difference is how we use those experiences to grow and learn by. How we choose to pray or not to get through. Right now I'm praying that I can suffer gracefully and complain less. That I can see this as a blessing and not a curse. While I was feeling bad I decided that since it was the weekend I was going to go outside and let me son and husband play and I was going to be a part of it despite my nausea. I was sitting on my swing listening to my toddler giggle and watch him interact with his amazing dad and I was thinking of how blessed I am and I looked up and saw a big beautiful yellow butterfly float by and it brought tears to my eyes. I know that butterfly was a little whisper from God that everything is going to be ok. That I should keep hope and trust in Him. I am so very thankful for the good and the bad in my life, and I hope and pray I learn and grow everyday. Here's hoping you see your yellow butterfly just when you need it. <3

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