Baby Steps!

Whether it is from me learning when to eat and take my medicine or just finding out the one thing that I can eat (for 2 meals a day for days...and days-thank you Jason's Deli!), I haven't thrown up in 4 days!!! Maybe I am just getting better. Even if it starts to get bad again, I am just so thankful to not be throwing up every day and to be getting food in my stomach and not be losing weight!!! Thank you God!!! :-D I am still nauseous a lot of the time but I will take this improvement and cherish it!!! I am so looking forward to being able to eat more than 2 things! But until then I will just be thankful I can eat those two things.

My "baby" boy

I am constantly amazed by my my ever growing, ever learning toddler. He surprises me every day by saying or doing something new. He is so incredibly sweet. I can't believe it when he comes out with some very two year old things to say! He told me that I was mean the other day and I didn't even know he knew what that meant! Haha but they seem so big that you forget how small they really are. It's times like rocking them to sleep that make you remember how they were when they were tiny and remind you to cherish these moments, and all moments with them because they pass by so fast. I am so thankful for these random times that I get to hold him and rick him because you know they are few and far between. To look down and see his little angelic face reminds me that he's just a little guy despite some of his sassy little sayings. I love him so much and I'm so thankful God has trusted me and Michael to be his parents. I really look forward to (as scary as it is to think of chasing two) having our next little baby. Keep praying that we get to have that opportunity because it is never a given! God bless!

Yellow Butterfly

A yellow butterfly symbolizes hope and peace, as if to say "Don't worry, it's all going to be okay." as it flies by. I have been struggling lately and at some times feeling hopeless. I know God has a plan for me, and a great one at that, but it's easy to lose focus when you're going through a tough time. I have been so sick for the past two months as my body works on making a precious little life. I never doubt for a second that it is worth it and I would never take it back if I had the chance, but to be honest that doesn't make the hard times any easier. I am so tired of throwing up and the nausea. I'm tired of being tired, but I have to remember that it will all be over soon. Some day be a distant memory. I will be outside with a 5 year old and 2 year old one day with tears of joy in my eyes and thinking how incredibly blessed I am. How that cross that I was chosen to bear would bring such immense joy into my life. We all have crosses to bear, but what makes the difference is how we use those experiences to grow and learn by. How we choose to pray or not to get through. Right now I'm praying that I can suffer gracefully and complain less. That I can see this as a blessing and not a curse. While I was feeling bad I decided that since it was the weekend I was going to go outside and let me son and husband play and I was going to be a part of it despite my nausea. I was sitting on my swing listening to my toddler giggle and watch him interact with his amazing dad and I was thinking of how blessed I am and I looked up and saw a big beautiful yellow butterfly float by and it brought tears to my eyes. I know that butterfly was a little whisper from God that everything is going to be ok. That I should keep hope and trust in Him. I am so very thankful for the good and the bad in my life, and I hope and pray I learn and grow everyday. Here's hoping you see your yellow butterfly just when you need it. <3

Workin' hard at having fun!

I have been so sick that I haven't been able to play with my precious boy like I like to. So, today I was determined that no matter how bad I felt I was turning the tv off and working with my smart little toddler on some fun learning activities. First we worked on putting beads onto pipe cleaners. He was really good at it! I was trying to get him to hold one at a time but he found a way to hold a handful of beads and put the beads one on at a time on to the pipe cleaner. :) I was proud. After that we worked on numbers. It didn't go so well because he was too interested in using the green crayon to color something for himself! Another day! :) Next we used Melissa and Doug water color paper. It's the book of painting pages that has the row of paint at the top that you use a wet paintbrush on. It was okay but not as fun as real messy paint! So as not to disappoint, we moved on to REAL paint! He has a smock, but it's made for a bigger boy, so we put it on and used a clothes pin to tighten the back, he forgot all about it once he got some paint in his hands! I set him all up with "no spill" paint cups, paint, paintbrushes, and a clean sheet of paper on his easel, and let him go to town. He started off pretty neat but got down to business and hog his hands pretty dirty, he looked to me concerned that I'd be like "oh no! Not your hands!" but I showed him he could make some pretty cool hand prints now! After all that messy fun we washed him up and looked at the color that the water turned from all that paint! It is so fun to have a 2 year old' I'm ready for this morning sickness to go away so I can enjoy it more! It's been long enough!

Good news!

Well...I haven't made it Facebook official but since not many of my Facebook friends read my blog I think I can spill the news here! We found out a little over 2 weeks ago that we're expecting baby number 2!!! :) according to the unofficial due date calculators, my due date should be around March 31st! That makes me 7 weeks and one day. I go to meet with the nurse at the drs office on Thursday afternoon. I'm excited to get things rolling because I know this drs office does an ultrasound at your first visit. So I'm ready to get that scheduled. I have been really sick just like last time. But fortunately people say that the one upside to that is that it's a good sign you won't miscarry. I'll try to focus on that because it's hard to find positives when your nauseous and vomiting all the time. All for a good reason right? Right. Well I hope the good news made you smile, it did for us! :D

We've got an app for that!

Well...I have failed to keep up with this blog yet again. Surprise surprise! But I'm hopeful that since I found an app for the blog website that maybe with my phone on me all the time I might be able to find time to write more often! How 'bout an update on things? Well to start off things are much the same in that we are in the same house and doing similar things during our day. Charlie and I hang out and play most of the day and are looking forward to getting a new swing set and playing outside more often. I haven't been doing as much hair since it's hard to keep up with clients after my day of "mommying". I've mostly kept up with family, which is plenty of work seeing as I have a huge family, so I'm definitely not out of practice if I ever want to go back! Charlie is almost two and we are planning a Blue's Clues party. Charlie is really excited about it! I can't believe it is only a month until my son is two! It is amazing how some days can go by slowly and when you look back it's like he was born yesterday. Seeing how big he's getting has gotten us talking about when we'd like to have another baby. We've talked and planned for months and it looks like we'll be trying this summer for another baby! I'd be happy with another boy, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want a little girl to dress in cute little girly things and paint her nails and do her hair! I'll say a healthy baby is my main concern but I'll put in a special request to the big guy for pink in our future! ;) I'm excited for things to come for our little family! Hopefully making it a 'little' bigger! Thanks for reading, and until next time (which hopefully won't be so long)!

Miss You...

As we enjoy the holidays I can't help but miss Michael's dad more. Today Michael sent me the poem that was read at his dad's funeral. It was, and still is perfect. I like to think we live like this poem. Laughing, and remembering him as he was. Living as if he is a part of our lives still. I am sad Charlie won't "know" his grandpa, but he will still know him! I love you and miss you Diddyo.

Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away to the next room...
I am I and you are you...
Whatever we were to each, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak it to me in the same way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone,
Wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident.

I am but waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.